Ficlet: The Past Unbroken - Erestor, Celebrian - FPGen

[keiliss]

Another ten minute prompt, tidied up and the word count rounded out. Is there a term for a 500 word ficlet?

Title: The Past Unbroken
Characters: Erestor, Celebrian, twins
Prompt: broken
Type: FPGen
Word count: 500 according to MS Word.

Broken? Well, he supposed it was. Pieces lay on his desk: the body, part of a leg, the head in two bits. He had carried it around on his travels since - since he had left Nargothrond really, carefully wrapped in whatever odd bits of cloth he could find. It had been meant as a gift for their young prince, but long before he and his companions could reach the coast they had seen the smoke against the sky, too much to mean anything other than grief. Too late to offer aid, too few in number in any case against Orcs, wolves, the great dragon…
 
He had still taken the horse to Sirion and later to Balar. It had sat out in the bay with him while the world changed and everyone huddled for days, weeks, in the small fleet of boats, weeping softly in fear and loss. He should have given it to the boy, of course, but it was all he had left of home.
 
Lindon then, the boy now grown to adult strength, a king to invoke pride and love - too old for toy horses. So he had kept it, and kept his memories. And added to them.
 
His king was gone now, gone in fire-seared courage, but Erestor still remained. In time Imladris, called Karningul in the common tongue, became his home. And the horse came with him, knew pride of place on its little side table. Until today. Two young elves, rushing in as boys will, filled with news of visiting traders, the excitement carrying them beyond natural caution.
 
He had said little to the stammered apologies. They had no idea of its history, just that he had owned it as long as they had known him, which was most of their lives. After they left he found he needed to keep rubbing the back of his hand across his eyes over and over while he turned the pieces around, trying to decide if they could be fitted back together again. The wood was so ancient, so fragile…
 
The figure taking in the scene from the open doorway remained unnoticed. He never heard her light footfalls cross the bright, woven rug and was startled by her presence at his side.

"Thank you for not being angry with my sons, they truly meant no harm." Celebrían's voice was soft, the wisdom of her mother in her eyes as she rested her hand on his shoulder and joined him in looking down at the wreck. "Give him to me," she said gently. "I will ask Gurmaeron to look at him, and you will have him back as new."
 
"Not as new, lady," Erestor said, trying to explain but unsure of his words. Much as he liked her, the lady of the valley was someone in whose company he had spent little time until now.
 
She shook her head. "No, not as new, I spoke without thinking. I will see you have him back as he was."

Comments

[tuxedo-elf.livejournal.com]

Beautiful, Kei! I loved the significance of something so simple as a wooden toy and the shattered feeling that came with seeing such a treasured momento broken. Celebrian was perfect... kind and understanding, just as she should be. :)

*Hugs*

[aglarien1.livejournal.com]

That was just wonderful, Kei. You've done it again.

*hugs*

[heartofoshun.livejournal.com]

OMG! I really should not have read this tonight! Absolutely beautiful. But here I am in the middle of moving still and packing still, simultaneously losing and breaking precious things. Do I keep a replica of an Aztec dog which I have had since my first trip to Mexico (before Laura was born), after Baby Fingon dropped it and broke its foot off? His mother, who is generally ruthless, got very sentimental with me this time and says we should glue the foot back on and keep it. Needless to say in my current state, this ficlet moved me to an unreasonable degree. Well done!

[kitty279.livejournal.com]

Lovely, Kei! No wonder Erestor is treasuring this little horse so much when it was the only thing he was able to save from his former home. Most of us have probably this sort of memento, too, though not as ancient ;) I can understand why he was so sad when the twins inadvertently broke it.

And Celebrian was very nice and understanding.

**hugs**

[minuial_nuwing]

**sobs** This is just lovely, Kei. I could feel Erestor's emotions so vividly.

I had a silly little rooster pitcher that a very dear friend (since deceased) gave me as a wedding present, and my son broke it several years ago. I remember looking at those pieces and feeling as though my heart had shattered, too. He had no idea, of course. **sigh** Kids so seldom do.

Beautifully done.

**hugs**

[weepingnaiad.livejournal.com]

Beautifully done! Really captured that feeling of something precious and fragile, and how it feels to see it broken when there's nothing you can say. Anger won't fix it or bring it back. *sigh* Had this happen with one of my glass unicorns that I collected when I was a young teen. Managed to survive dorms, moving out of state, and multiple apartments... but he's hornless now and wrapped in tissue paper in the attic. Don't have the heart the expose him to more harm.

Lovely, hon!
*hugs*
WN

[http://users.livejournal.com/fishyz9_/]

Big old lump in my throat. Damn you.

x

[keiliss.livejournal.com]

Heh. Thanks, little fish.

*hugs you*

[keiliss.livejournal.com]

I had to go over time to finish it off - not meant to take more than ten minutes - and later I expanded Celebrian's part slightly because she deserved more space. I don't write her often, I'm glad she feels right to you - thank you :)

*hugs you*

[keiliss.livejournal.com]

This is such wonderful feedback, thank you so much, love :)

I didn't plan this in advance, these short pieces just seem to 'happen', but I think most of us have some little treasure that nothing could ever replace. At the end my heart ached for him - such a long time, and finally the accident happening in what should have been a safe place.

*hugs*

[keiliss.livejournal.com]

*hugs you tight* Thanks so much, Agie dear.

[keiliss.livejournal.com]

*looks worried* You kept the dog, right? I'm utterly ruthless about throwing stuff out when we're moving and am less of a hoarder than most, but that's the kind of treasure you need to keep, even with a glued foot. Bit like my Venetian glass clowns that have had so many bits glued back on by now...

It'll all be over soon *hugs*. And I'm very glad you enjoyed the ficlet - if 'enjoyed' is the right word. Thank you for telling me.

[keiliss.livejournal.com]

Hi sweetie :) Thank you very much for the feedback. I'm glad you liked Celebrian, I don't get to write her often. I didn't think at the time but yes, losing something old and dear is a pain we can all empathise with.

*hugs you*

[keiliss.livejournal.com]

Thanks very much, Min dear. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Kids really don't get it. They've lived such a short time, they can't imagine what it's like to lose something that's been with you for maybe twice their age. Nothing to be gained in getting angry at an accident, but oh yes, it hurts so much.

*hugs*

[keiliss.livejournal.com]

Right now I'm sitting here feeling so sad for the poor unicorn without the horn. And it's such an awful feeling when it happens, too - you want to call back the last few minutes, make things happen differently.

Thanks for commenting, hon, and for telling me I managed to capture that ache of loss. It means a lot to me.

*hugs*

[phyncke.livejournal.com]

I am ashamed to say I have not commented on this yet and thought I had.

This is a gem of a story which is rich in its sparseness, if you know what I mean. Such a small thing yet so full of meaning which is what I think you mean to convey with this story. I am a big fan of memorabilia and have quite a items like that collected from different times in my life. I can well imagine what Erestor feels here and have been through similiar things myself and that is also what appeals to me. I feel kindred to him as I read this. I have read this story a few times and prize it as one of the ones I will collect from you to keep printed as an "always" have.

The appearance of Celebrian is a lovely touch and makes sense as she is the parent responsible for the twins. I have no doubt she will do as she says she will. She seems so capable and very Galadriel-like here. I love that you make her this way. It makes sense too.

Just a great read for me here. I found so much I could identify with in it.

[keiliss.livejournal.com]

I am a terrible person. This review warmed my heart when I first read it and somehow I imagined I'd responded... so sorry, Jane.

I think we've all had that 'too late' moment when we've been gathering up the pieces and wishing we'd just been more careful - I cried with Erestor while I was writing this. Your comments are very kind, anything I say by way of thinks will be inadequate. Just - really happy it spoke to you like this.

Thanks :)