triple drabble for rhapsody

[keiliss]

rhapsody11 asked for -

‘Hmmmmm, *ponders* Gil-Galad & Elendil (not necessarily slash), but just see where these two take you!’

The original reached over 600 words, and I chipped it down to 200, but it had no texture left. Hope you don’t mind 300 words instead?


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In this elven city Elendil felt utterly alone, adrift in an alien landscape. He looked out over lush gardens to a placid blue ocean, and recalled the roiling waters that had carried them from home into the unknown, the pealing thunder, the lightning bright enough to blind a man. Far away it seemed now, almost unreal...

A footfall behind made him turn. His hosts were quite unlike the elven folk he had known from Tol Eressëa, more – tempered, although pleasant enough. This elf was tall and well built, with a typically old-young face. Self-assured. He strode forward, hand extended in the greeting Elendil was learning to expect. He offered his hand in return, and wrists were clasped briefly, first above, then below.

“Ereinion Gil-galad, king of this land. You’ve rested?” The king’s voice was briskly friendly, accustomed to command. Elendil nodded, but had no time to respond. “Good, good. I’ve sent supplies to your people – you’ll want them to stay near the ships for now, till we find them somewhere to settle. Now…”

Elendil plunged in. “My gratitude for your hospitality, lord, but my ships are in need of repairs and I came to beg loan of a vessel to travel down the coast to seek the rest of my party… My sons…”

A quick smile, infinitely charming. “The Avari already sent word of strange ships landing far to the south. Your sons will be safe enough, your people have had strongholds there for centuries.” Light blue eyes met his thoughtfully. “But now…” He rested a hand on Elendil’s shoulder, gestured to where chairs were being set. “They tell me your name is Elendil and you can explain why the sea has grown strange. Come join me in a cup of wine, and share your news out of the West.”
=====

Comments

[chaotic-binky.livejournal.com]

So much detail in so few words. I really like the conciseness of this.

Hugs Binky xxxx

[keiliss.livejournal.com]

Thanks very much, love. I think it ended up looking better trimmed down like this than the original longer piece. One thing about trying to do drabbles (or something that pretends to be a drabble) is I'm learning to think about the words I use instead of my usual thing which is to just keep writing till I run out of steam, lol.

*hugs*

[chaotic-binky.livejournal.com]

That is the reason I find drabbles harder to do.

Hugs Binky xxx

[weepingnaiad.livejournal.com]

This is lovely. And, I'm completely and utterly braindead because I can't put into words what I want to say. Just, I enjoyed the glimpse into Elendil's head.

*hugs*
WN

[keiliss.livejournal.com]

Lol, you said plenty. Thanks sweetie.
*hugs you*

[silver-trails.livejournal.com]

Very well done, Kei!

[keiliss.livejournal.com]

Thank you, CC dear :)

[rhapsody11.livejournal.com]

Oh gorgeous Keiliss, really beautifully balanced and so much is being said in such a short timespan (any length is fine by me). Gil-Galad really takes him in, makes him feel at home as he tries to take the burdens from Elendil's shoulder. The seeds of a long friendships are sown here. I love it! And thanks so much for writing it.

[keiliss.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for giving me this prompt, dear. I would never otherwise have had the idea of writing this scene, and I really enjoyed doing so - in fact, it nearly got away from me to become a ficlet, lol. I've never written Elendil before, and quite liked the experience of trying to see through his eyes for that short time. I'm so thrilled that you like the end result.

*hugs*

[heartofoshun.livejournal.com]

Lovely. Really liked it. Of course, anything that includes your Gil-galad feels slashy to me--he is just so irrepressible. The charming smile and offer of a glass wine alone is enough to set me off.

[keiliss.livejournal.com]

Thanks Oshun, I'm glad you liked this. I enjoyed writing it, even though it wanted really badly to be a ficlet, not any kind of a drabble, lol.

Gil is - Gil, yes, lol. I just commented to Elfscribe that while I know it's good to try and write a character from different angles, I may never be able to do that with Gil-galad. He seems to have a life of his own.

[phyncke.livejournal.com]

This is very Gil Galad, so inquisitive.

...you can explain why the sea has grown strange.

I like this moment that you encapsulate here. It is something I have often wondered about. His bewilderment is clear here.

I liked this.

[keiliss.livejournal.com]

Hi :) Thanks, I'm glad you like this. I've never really thought about this scene before, but I ended up doing some reading and thinking before writing this and - his entire world had turned inside out, hadn't it? He must still have been feeling like the ground had dropped away from under his feet.

And yes, very Gil-galad, lol.

I mailed you :)

*hugs*

[phyncke.livejournal.com]

I am wading through tons of mail. Wondering where you mailed me. A hint would be nice.

I really liked this piece. Their country had been destroyed in a cataclysm and they had basically ridden a tsunami to the shores of middle earth in some very turbulent seas. So he would have been in strange shape indeed.

I think his understated, wigged out demeanor was appropo. *nod*

[keiliss.livejournal.com]

In canon Elendil made this nice speech when they landed, and I've always thought 'Yeah, riiiigh." I'm even less convinced now I've had to spend time thinking about it.

Was a very interesting event to look at, too.

I got a mail from you while I was listening to the election coverage (they went full time on radio here) and answered it. It did not look like a gtalk offline thing, but I went and checked and it's from gmail so you'll never find it, lol!

Glad you're all right, hon.

[phyncke.livejournal.com]

*wants to read the email* I deleted a bunch and probably just zapped that one too. argh.

*sulk*

I think he would have been pretty much shell shocked, actually.

[aglarien1.livejournal.com]

This was wonderful! Love this Gil-galad.

*hugs*

[keiliss.livejournal.com]

Thanks Agie, I love him too. So glad you liked the drabble :)

[elfscribe5.livejournal.com]

Very lovely, Kei. I just adore your Gil-galad. "A quick smile, infinitely charming." Oh yes.

[keiliss.livejournal.com]

I know you should try to mess around with a character, write different facets of him, but I don't think I'll ever see Gil differently, lol.

Thanks for the feedback, love. Glad you liked this :)

[inwe-saralonde.livejournal.com]

I very much enjoyed this drabble, Kei. I'm a bit like WN - a little brain-dead as I make my way through four days' worth of LJ (and maybe a glass or two too much of wine over the weekend... :P)

*hugs*

[keiliss.livejournal.com]

LJ's been busy over the last few days, that must have been a lot of posts. I'm happy you liked this, thanks a lot for reading :)

I thought the main purpose of weekends was so that we could indulge in a glass or two more than we should *g*.

*hugs*

[kitty279.livejournal.com]

Poor Elendil. He must have felt terrible, having lost his home and knowing how many people died, even if they weren't faithful any longer. And then to be stranded in Middle-earth, having to beg for help, not knowing if his sons escaped alive, too ... I was glad Gil-Galad was able to reassure him about that.
I think you managed to express a lot in this short ficlet.

**hugs**

[keiliss.livejournal.com]

Kitty, I'm so sorry, I don't know how I missed this *blushes*. Thank you so much for commenting!

I can't imagine how it must have felt, probably a bit like being one of a handful of survivors of a nuclear strike would now? An entire civilization gone, and the safety of that handful his personal responsibility. I was so thrilled when Rhapsody gave me this prompt, it's a window I'd not looked through before.

And any excuse to write Gil-galad is good *g*.

*hugs*

[erfan-starled.livejournal.com]

'...tempered...', liked that. Details of wrist clasp, too.

Sons and southern history - I tried so hard to follow it all while researching, even found a Numenorean logging fort in the First Age in the north, that your small, coherent mention of sons and the prior settlements in the south is one that gets my attention, oh yes. History test, anyone?

Back to your story: the ending, however, is the thing that gives this story its power, the reference to what has happened. Such a change in the world... Were you pleased with this piece afterwards? Did you like it, feel satisfied?

[keiliss.livejournal.com]

I originally meant this to be about making a tower for the palantir, I have all the research still, but it would have been mainly about Gil-galad (who I love but do not regard as a challenge, more like a writing partner) I thought I should at least start off with Elendil, and found someone very unlike my mental image (such as it was) of him.

Do I like the result, feel satisfied? Yes. I met a new person who I would like to spend more time with at some point, I had to think about the reality of fleeing from the unbelievable, try and imagine how it would be to have to start over in a strange land with no home ever to go back to... Very satisfied. Pleased? It should have been a little longer.

The ending - I always wondered when and how the elves this side learned what had happened and why. Not all at once, message from the Valar type thing, I thought. They were so attuned to the world, though, they would have felt this vast change when it came about, but why, what it meant for them? I think that would have come in pieces, not all at once.

I can talk a lot about this :D

Thanks for reading, Erfan.