(no subject)

[keiliss]

For red_lasbelin Interview by Glorfindel
(not to be confused with Gorgeous Glory)


Glorfindel sighed looking out the window and watching as they all dispersed over the property. He knew how to take care of himself, he killed a balrog once – surely these intruders couldn’t be half as bad as that!

He wandered about the room, settling behind the computer desk and flipping idly through the windows open. Information that Red had gathered on each subject showed and he read the lists before he got an idea. Perhaps he could print one of these pages out and show Red that he could indeed handle one of these situations? Now the question would be which one…After due consideration, Glorfindel decided that it might be best to take the one labeled “Keiliss” and try his luck there – if it went too badly, well she wasn’t one of the biggest people around so he should be able to contain her well – should being the key word here.

He clicked the print button and waited patiently for it to finish before scavenging around to find another clipboard and pen. When all was gathered, he glanced at the satellite picture again then headed towards the garden.

He found a woman there which he assumed to be Keiliss sitting the cool grass under his favorite oak tree and slowly approached Keiliss – not entirely sure what to expect. “Hello there,” he started pleasantly, and at her equally friendly reply his brow furrowed slightly. ‘Was this supposed to be an intruder?’ he wondered, she didn’t seem like one, but better safe than sorry. “I hope you don’t mind if I asked you a few questions do you? It’s mandatory for anyone new here, I’m very sorry for the trouble,” he gave her one of his nicest smiles, hoping she’d say yes with minimal fuss.

Kei smiled up at him and patted the grass beside her invitingly.

“Thank you, Keiliss,” He looked at the clipboard again. “Or Kei, if you would prefer. The first question is this…” He paused for a moment, re-reading the question and puzzling over how this didn’t seem like a very good interrogation but Red said she was the one writing the questions so he just went with the flow.

“If you were somewhere in the Last Homely House and found a half drawn picture of an elf, a bowl of strawberries with peaches and a hair clip with emeralds embedded in the silver frame of the clip on a desk – whose desk would it have been, and why would those items be on the desk?”

“If this was a fic, I haven’t read it,” Kei told him firmly. “However, let me try and guess. Your desk, I think. You like to draw, you love strawberries and peaches – oh people talk, I hear things” she smiled and nodded “I think you were sketching someone who had been in your office previously – with his permission. I think the fruit was a little snack, as you didn’t have time to go out for lunch. The hair clasp would have been left so you could sketch it properly as it was quite intricately carved. Emeralds in silver, by the way, suggests the owner was dark haired. Unfortunately you were interrupted by a loud crash outside, and went to investigate, which would be why the office was empty.” She nodded, happy with her creativity. Glorfindel seemed less sure. She looked at him out of the corner of her eye. “Unless you want the other version,” she suggested sweetly, “But I must warn you, it contains the words ‘hair fetish’.”

He flashed her one of his smiles and went on to the next one. “If it were possible to ask a man called J.R.R Tolkien one question – only one – what would it be?”

Kei thought about this for a minute. She could remember having often said that she would like to be able to ask him - things. Right now though she just couldn’t for the life of her remember what they were. Finally she said uncertainly, “I think … I think I would want to ask him why he couldn’t have taken the trouble to get the First and Second Age timeline straight. Dates don’t coincide, events happen without reference to what else is happening around them, his habit of charting the ages of half-elves as though they were fully mortal is downright confusing……..” She realised she was starting to rant and, blushing, shut up.

Deciding since she showed no intention of attacking him and running off to tie him to a bed, Glorfindel sunk down beside her on the soft grass.

“Third question. Say you were having dinner and an elf comes up to you with a card and a rose. You open the card and it tells you to go to the library where you find another card along with another rose, and this repeats until you have a dozen roses and are standing at the door to an elf’s chambers at his request. Who do you think this elf is and why?”

“Oh now, that’s an easy one – at last,” Kei said in relief “That would simply have to be Lord Elrond’s chambers. The whole idea is imaginative, romantic and extremely discreet, exactly what I would expect from him.” She sat smiling for a minute, and then realised he was watching her expectantly, eyebrows slightly raised, pen poised to continue writing. “Oh yes,” she said, blushing, “You also wanted to know why, didn’t you? Well, obviously – um.” She thought about it for a minute then said sadly. “Probably he would ask me to take the roses down to which ever lucky elf they were really meant for – I must have been given the first one by mistake.”

“Second to last one now – this will be over soon,” he assured her, before going on. “If Glorfindel,” he paused for a moment, looked at the question and started again. “If I am upset, what is one of the best ways to calm me down?” At Keiliss’ knowing look he blushed. “I -…you have a dirty mind!” he stuttered with crimson hued cheeks. “I mean besides the obvious.”

Keiliss smirked to herself. The previous question had rather upset her - especially as she had apparently got it right. “Well, other than the obvious,” she drawled, “How about a nice long, hard ride?” At the horrified look on his face she added sweetly, “On Asfaloth, of course, silly. What did you think I meant?” As he ducked his head and gave all his attention to writing down the answer she asked softly,”So, who was it you were saying had a dirty mind?” He looked so embarrassed she just had to reach out and pat his knee reassuringly.

“And finally, if there was a terrible fire and you could only take one thing out of your home before it burned, what would it be? – excluding your family that is. Don’t look at me – Red’s idea.”

She thought for barely a moment. “My purse into which I would throw my runes, every disk in my desk’s top drawer – the basics of my online life - oh, and my make up bag is not negotiable! You wouldn’t want to run into me if I’ve had to leave my mascara to burn.”